MISS PETAL. Here’s the audience’s response to the commercial. [reading from her notepad] Seventy percent loved the new mascot. Fifteen percent thought he was just OK. Nine percent thought he was disgusting. Six percent couldn’t stop screaming. And … oh yeah, Mr. Monster got two movie offers.

[Noises offstage: a loud crash, then the cat howls. MS. ROSARIO smiles and sinks into her chair.]

MS. ROSARIO. [softly] A star is born.

Ms. Rosario and Miss Petal sitting at Ms. Rosario's desk